Just watched Never let me go.

So disturbing, and I really hope that type of thing doesnt exsist still today, I shall research into it. But, by the end of the movie, like a few tend to do (and some songs) I did alot of thinking and realizations. Silly things I wished would come true, or things I wish I could resolve, but cant. Because there is no point, no chance, nothing. I know the answers, I know the outcome of it. Its so silly how things can seem so real to you in your head and completely out of the question outside. I tell myself, life is too short. Dont waist it on lost words, or regrets say it/do it. Or waist it on silly junk food you only live once enjoy it. But I have on the other hand, dont say it, it could ruin everything you have, or eating junking food will make you feel louzy and shorten your life. I hate the indecisivevness of life and trying to figuere everything to only discover by the time youve figuered it all out its too late.

I want to enjoy life, but its hard to do when half the outcomes are rejections/negatives. I guess I should look at it in a more positive way, but I cant help but to always think of something in the back of my head that I wish would just resolve and go away. I want to say it, I want to do it. but it just doesnt work out that way.

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On another note. My car is gone, have talk of renting a home with sarah and some others, my brother has returned home, and I ate my feelings today haha. Work is busy and school is bleh. Coming home to a snuggle in my bed and someone wanting to know how my day was would be nice, no complaints. Just would be lovely. I need to focus on school. This will be a successful semester. Ive made that promise to myself. I will succeed. I have to prove it to myself.